Help! Mom Is Going Through Menopause!

Every family has their ups and downs and their disagreements. For the teens in the house, this can be just as trying as it is for the adults. When Mom is going through menopause, this can take the household to a whole different realm. You can bet Mom is having a tough time and so is Dad, but what about you! It does affect you too, but if you are willing to put a little bit of time and effort into this, you can really make things a lot easier. This will be better not only for you, but for both your parents and your siblings.

You are most likely focused on how Mom’s menopause is affecting you. If you are female, it may be totally different than the challenges that your brother is facing.

Looking at Menopause From Both Perspectives

Let’s take a look at menopause from the perspective of both the male and female young people. These are those in the house that are being affected by the menopause years.

Depending on the age of your Mom, you may be just entering your College years or are on the brink of finishing them. If as yet you have not left home for College, then you are facing the full brunt of the menopause fall out.

The Young Men

As a male dealing with Mom, here are some of the issues you may be dealing with…

• Nothing you seem to do is right anymore
• Mom seems to pick at who you are hanging out with
• What you feel are unreasonable restrictions are being placed upon you
• Decisions you are making are being met with disapproval by Mom
• There never seems to be any laughter in the home anymore

The Young Ladies

For you young ladies that are dealing with Mom, you may be experiencing….

• Mom wants you to take on more responsibilities around the home
• She can’t find anything nice to say about the young man you are dating
• Nothing you wear seems to be appropriate
• You spend too much time on yourself

When you look at the list for both the guys and the girls they seem to be pretty equal. Nobody would say that these are not difficult issues to have to deal with.

Nothing But Complaints

Then aside from this, you are tired of hearing all of the complaints like…..

• I have a headache
• I don’t feel well
• I am really unhappy
• I am feeling really agitated
• I don’t want to attend events
• I am tired

These may be phrases that you are hearing time and time again. You have gone past the point of being compassionate.

Then to add to the situation, Dad doesn’t seem to be too supportive to how all of this is affecting you. There are reasons for this too.

The Beginning of the Solution

If you really want to tackle any type of problem in life then you really need to know what the problem is. So, you know that Mom is going through menopause. You know the problem is Menopause. Now you need to understand why it’s a problem.

The entire thing to remember is that menopause means that Mom is going through a hormone change in her body. The main hormone that is being affected is estrogen. Prior to actual menopause, the first stage is perimenopause. During this stage, the estrogen levels are fluctuating. They are going up and down. Then as she gets into menopause the estrogen has dropped. At first, you are going to see that Mom seems fine one day or for a few days, then all of a sudden she changes. This is really difficult in itself.You never know  what to expect when you walk through the door. Are you going to be greeted by the old Mom, or your menopausal Mom?

It’s Payback Time

You may think that you don’t know much about hormones and you really don’t care to.  There may be something that you have forgotten about. This is that no matter whether you are male or female, you had your own experience with this.

As a Female:

Just prior to your beginning your menstrual cycle, you experienced some hormone changes. Some girls react to these changes more dramatically than others. If you are one that has a tough time at this time of the month, you may be familiar with PMS. Next time you have your menstrual cycle, see if you experience any of the following. If so, this is due to hormonal changes.

• Acne breakouts
• Cramps
• No energy
• Breast tenderness
• Irritable
• Bloating
• Mood swings

With you having some of these, it means you are experiencing what your Mom may be going through on a daily basis. Consider this is not just for a few days a month.

Think back in time to just prior to starting your period. Do you remember those crying jags for what seemed to be no reason at all? The mood swings of feeling very happy then very sad? The sweet young girl you were one moment, then being absolutely horrid the next? These are all the stages you went through as your hormones were changing.

As a Male:

It may seem that puberty was a lot easier for you because you didn’t have to deal with menstrual cycles. This is far from being the truth. This was when you were making your transition from being a child into the beginning of being a young man. You may have experienced some or all of the following….

• Your body seemed to be out of proportion
• Your voice began to crack and it always seemed to happen at the most inopportune times
• You may have had to deal with the embarrassment of unexpected erections
• You found you were ejaculating in your sleep
• Horrid episodes of acne breakouts were distressing you
• Emotions were all over the place
• Perhaps you were somewhat defiant and a little aggressive

These are all symptoms of hormone changes. Any group of these created a challenging time for your Mom.

She is the one that put up with your mood swings. She was the one that was there to console you when you felt the whole world was against you. Mom was the one who held you when you were in tears. This lady was the one that helped soothe you when you felt angry and agitated.

Now it’s payback time because Mom is going through her own battles with hormones. Just as your battles affected her, now the tables have turned.

Mom Had an Advantage

Mom had an advantage during the time you were going through your transition from a child to a young person. She, as an adult was much more prepared to handle the challenges. She knew what would come as you made this important transition. All parents go through this, and there is a lot of resources available for them to help guide them in helping their youth.

This is not an advantage you have. It has not really been recognized that menopause affects everyone in the family. Everyone needs support. This is something that may be lacking for the young people that are dealing with this.

Deal with the Issues According to the Circumstances

If you are already off to College or in the working world, then chances are you will not be living at home. This means you will only have to deal with this menopause intermittently. Basically, this will be when you are having any interactions with Mom. You should still read all the tips and hints presented here. By doing so, you can become a real strength for this very important lady in your life.

If you are living at home then you have a much bigger responsibility placed on you. You will need to put forth a lot more effort.

Dealing With the Major Menopause Effects

You now know that its hormone changes that are causing the menopause. The next thing you need to know is the potential side effects that your Mother may be dealing with. There are about twenty of these. For a full explanation of these be sure to read our post the 20 Symptoms of Menopause. This has been written by our lead author Carina A. Ryder. Carina is a Certified Menopause Practitioner.

How to Handle the Excuses

Above we talked about the common complaints that you may have gotten tired of hearing. It may help if you know what may be at the root of these.

I Have a Headache!

You may have suffered with headaches yourself. If so, then you can relate to the pain and discomfort that comes with these. In your case, you probably take two aspirins and that’s the end of it. It’s not that easy for your Mom. It could be that she is getting these frequently. She certainly doesn’t want to have to take medication on an ongoing basis. This can lead to stomach problems. It may be that she is beginning to suffer with migraines, which are even more devastating to deal with.

What Can You Do To Help?

During a headache episode, make every effort to make sure the house is quiet. If you can, give her the opportunity to go lay down as this may be very beneficial to her. If she feels that she has to cook dinner or finish the laundry this is just putting more stress on her. These are chores that you could step in to do.

Try talking to Mom abut her headaches but not during the time she is dealing with one.  Don’t come across as judging her or making light of them. Tell her you know that they are common through menopause. Suggest that you do some research together. Research to see if there are some natural alternatives that she can try to give her some relief. At the very least, she is going to recognize that you understand what she is going through, and that you want to help.

I Don’t Feel Well or I am Tired!

There are many physical side effects that come with menopause. These can create a general feeling of being unwell.

You will be more compassionate after learning about the 20+ menopause symptoms. You will understand the strain that is being put on her both physically and mentally.

What Can You Do To Help?

Get her to talk about the physical symptoms that she is experiencing. These may be the headaches. It can also include aches and pains, bloating, bladder and female organ inflammations. The next step is to encourage her to speak to her health care provider as to what can help her with these. There may also be some natural alternatives.

I Am Really Unhappy!

On the surface, to you, it may look as your parents have a really good lifestyle as well as a good relationship. So what could be making your Mom so unhappy? There are mental symptoms of menopause that have to be dealt with too. These can be intermittent or they can lead to depression.

What Can You Do To Help?

Be aware that this is a serious issue for your Mom, even though it can be a natural part of menopause. Strive to do little things that make her happy. Maybe it may mean making some compromises once in a while. Like instead of going out with your friends. Try spending a night at home with her, or maybe go out on a shopping excursion. Go out of your way to compliment her as she is not feeling very good about herself right now.

I Am Feeling Really Agitated!

One of the most difficult menopause symptoms to deal with is bad moods. These can be bouts of anger and displays of being aggravated. These can come on suddenly. One minute your Mother seems to be in a great mood. Then in the next moment, she has become agitated.

What Can You Do To Help?

There very likely are some trigger points that lead up to this. It could be she is tired because she is having sleep problems. There could be events that are stressing her, like not being able to do things as quickly as before. This is partly because of the physical symptoms along with the lack of concentration.

Be intuitive as to what some of the triggers could be. You may be able to identify them much better than she can. This is because she may be dealing with some memory issues. If you can identify the triggers, try to be innovative as to what you can do to reduce or eliminate them.

Listen carefully with respect when she is in an irritated mood. Try to determine if what she is complaining about is valid.

If so, then see if there are changes that can be made to remove the source of irritation. Try to give her some space. That doesn’t mean that you storm out of the room. Try to excuse yourself from the vicinity so she can have some time to calm down.

You should also be alert as to what may lead to an irritable episode. She may not have slept well, or is in some form of discomfort like bloating, or is having aches or pains. You can prepare yourself for an angry episode that may be eminent. Knowing that it is coming will allow you to be far more prepared for it.

I Don’t Want To Attend Events!

You may be feeling hurt that your Mom doesn’t want to attend your sports events. Or she doesn’t want to go to other types of functions. She is aware that she is going through physical changes. These may not be evident to you, but they are to her. She may be gaining some weight. Her hair may be thinning. The skin may be aging. These are huge things to her. Mom is not feeling very good about herself, and her self-esteem is suffering.

What Can You Do To Help?

Compliment her as much as you can, but without drawing attention to the negative aspects. For example, you can tell her that a particular color she is wearing looks really good on her. Or, tell her she has done a great job with her makeup application. You can even compliment her on some unrelated things like what a great meal she prepared. These are all things that will boost her self-esteem.

These tips that have been provided to you are meant to help you deal with some of the common household issues. They are enough to get you to really think about what your Mother is going through. Hopefully, this information will encourage you to play your part in helping Mom. This will help her to make the transition into menopause much easier.