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Taking Control of The Common Fears of Menopause

Not Knowing What To Expect

One of the most common fears about menopause is simply fearing the unknown. Chances are you have heard other women talk about their menopause experiences. Some of what they said may have been downright frightening. Comments like….

“ I thought I was going crazy”

“ I was always sad and crying a lot”

“I felt like I hated the whole world”

“I was sure something was seriously wrong with me”

These are just a few of many examples. They are all pretty scary. Nobody wants to feel this way. Yet, you know that you are definitely going to experience menopause. Does this mean you are going to feel this way too?

Some of these women did not fully understand the symptoms of menopause. This is what lead them to feel the way they did. If you take the time to educate yourself about menopause you can avoid a lot of these feelings as described.

There are a lot of symptoms that come with menopause. It doesn’t mean that you will get every one of them. Also, you may not get them as severe as what some other women do.

There are three steps that you can take to help you with this change of life experience.

1. Educate yourself
2. Recognize what your specific symptoms are
3. Be pro-active in dealing with the symptoms

Education

There is still a lot about menopause that isn’t known. At the same time, there has been a lot of research done on it. As a result of this, there is a lot of information available for you to rely on. There are also several resources for you to tap into.

Potential Resources:

Your health care provider is a valuable resource. If you suspect that you are beginning menopause then talk to your Doctor. Your Doctor can determine if this is the case, and is the cause of your symptoms.

There are many different types of organizations that specialize in menopause. Check through your local directories to find out what is available. You can also ask your Doctor. You may want to call the administrative department of your local hospital. Ask if they have any clinics or know of any.

Of course using the internet is also a great resource. When doing this make sure you are relying on information from reliable sources. Also, make sure that the information is current. The one disadvantage about internet material is it can become outdated very quickly.

Recognizing Your Symptoms

If you know what the menopause symptoms are, then you are going to know what they are when they start. They won’t take you by surprise. You will be able to deal with them much easier. There are some symptoms that are very common. These include hot flashes, night sweats, and vaginal dryness. It is those symptoms that may not be as common that cause concern. These are the symptoms such as headaches, aches and pains, and sleep disorders. These are often not talked about as much. Simply because many women don’t realize they are part of menopause.

Being Pro-Active With Your Symptoms

Recognizing your symptoms is going to reduce a lot of the fear. Another fear you may have is that they will be really severe and you won’t be able to deal with them. Again, education is going to help. You can learn about each of the symptoms individually, and what is available to help relieve them. In some cases, you may find that there are natural treatments. In other cases, your Doctor may recommend prescriptive medications. This is all going to depend on the individual, the symptom, and the severity. You need to be able to make an informed decision so you need to learn about all your options.

Fear of Hot Flashes

This is probably the most common symptom of menopause. It is estimated that about 75% of the menopausal women experience these.  Some of the profound comments made about these are….

“When I had my first hot flash I thought I was dying!

“My hot flashes were so bad my head felt like it was exploding!”

“My hot flashes are so bad I can’t even think straight”.

Hot flashes can be really annoying, and some women find them really hard to deal with. Again, when they don’t expect them and they occur, it takes them off guard. Other women really dislike the feeling of the hot flashes. This can cause some anxiety which may make these episodes worse.

Scientists don’t even know exactly what is happening in the body during a hot flash. They do know that estrogen reduction is affecting part of the brain. This is the part that regulates temperature. They just aren’t sure how it is affecting it.

When a hot flash occurs it creates a hot sensation mostly in the upper part of the body. This is because the blood vessels are dilating. Some women say that they feel like their heartbeat is increasing. This is because adrenaline is being released into the blood stream. When this happens some women fear they are having a heart attack. There is a big difference between these two. With a heart attack, the sensation doesn’t stop. When a hot flash ends the heart rate goes back to normal.

Fear of Disease

It is perfectly normal for anyone to fear disease. Some women are afraid that they will develop some diseases because of menopause. There are some diseases that are considered high-risk during this time. Part of the fear that has been created is because of inaccuracies regarding these.

Most often there are diseases that are already present in menopause. Then when menopause does come along it can make some of these better or worse.

What should be focused on more with menopause and disease is good health care. For those that do have diseases, they should take extra precautions through menopause. A lot of the diseases that appear during the change of life years relate to age.

Rather than fear potential diseases, learning about them is much better. Some of the disturbing diseases are….

• Heart disease
• Autoimmune Diseases
• Osteoporosis
• Diabetes
• Rheumatoid Arthritis

These are not diseases that are caused by menopause. They may be made worse during this time. This may be cause for concern but should not create fear. For each of these diseases and many others, there are things that can be done to keep them under control. This is what women who may have them should concentrate on.

Fear of Growing Old

Some women have no problems with the thought of growing old. They know it’s a natural part of life. Other women have a real issue with aging. For some of these women, it then becomes a priority. They will take whatever measures they can to slow the process down. The physical appearances of aging really disturbs them.  These women may be fearful of menopause.  To them, menopause is a reminder that they are aging. There are some people where this is so severe that there is a medical term applied to it called. Gerascophobia.

There can be different reasons why they have this fear. For some, it’s because they fear they will be left alone. For others, it is the fear they won’t be able to look after themselves.

Menopause for many ladies is a sure sign they are growing older. This does come around a specific age, but it doesn’t mean that women have now become old. A lot of the symptoms that come with menopause may make a woman feel old. These symptoms are similar to what elderly people may experience.

Most women who are educated about menopause handle this transition in life much better. They have learned that their skin may become affected. Which some feel leads to premature aging. Some of the symptoms take a physical toll on the body, and this may make one appear as though they have aged.

There are many things that can be done about those symptoms that make a woman feel or look older. For example, for the skin it may mean stepping up the skincare regime. Another symptom of menopause can be thinning hair. Being extra gentle with hair care, and trying new hair styles can help. These help to camouflage the look of the thinning hair. Women are then able to better cope with this.

It is important to try and change the way one looks at aging. There are so many women who have gone through menopause that feel vibrant. They are enjoying this stage of their life. Even though some of them may have had severe menopause symptoms. For those that are frightened of aging, studying this type of woman will help.

Fear Of Not Being Sexually Compatible

Another concern menopausal women have is not being able to enjoy their sex life anymore. They may be experiencing a low libido. There may be physical symptoms like a vaginal or urinary inflammation. These all affect the sexual relationship.

There are also some mental effects. Some women worry about their physical appearance. They don’t feel that they are attractive, so assume that their partner doesn’t either.

You can help combat the low libido that menopause is creating. Start to focus on what mental issues are contributing to this.

Do You Still Have the Desire?

Desire for sex is driven through your thought patterns. You need to have the interest in having sex in the first place. This is stimulated through your thoughts and fantasies, and attraction to your partner.

Your Perception of Sex

Your perception of sex may change during menopause. This can happen because of your attitude towards sex. You may feel that you are past your prime, and you no longer have the interest in keeping your partner satisfied.

Your Motivation

You may feel that you don’t have all of the qualities that make you desirable for your partner. Possibly because of the physical effects of menopause. You may feel that your figure is no longer appealing because you have gained some weight. Feeling bad about yourself makes it hard for you to be motivated about having sex with your partner.

You are going to have a two-fold challenge to handle here. You are going to have to deal with the negative aspects that are affecting your interest in sex. Then your partner may have their own issues. None of his issues are based on what your concerns are. His, are probably because you have become distant with him. He doesn’t understand that it may be because of menopause. Or, if he does he doesn’t know what to do about it, because he can’t stop this natural process of life.

Start by recognizing what emotional factors are holding you back. Then beginning to talk to your partner as to how you are being affected emotionally.

Fear Of Gaining Weight

It doesn’t take the threat of menopause to create a fear of gaining weight. This is something that both men and women are concerned about. The worry about this happens through all phases of life. Some women say that as soon as they entered into menopause that’s when they began to gain weight. There are few reasons why this may be happening. Yet, there is some controversy over whether menopause does contribute to weight gain.

Some research supports the possibility that menopause can make it easier to gain weight. This has been done with animal studies. The results showed that lower estrogen levels showed the animals tended to eat less. At the same time, they were less active. It is also believed that lower estrogen means a reduced metabolic rate. Based on this it is assumed this all could be happening with menopausal women.

Age also can affect weight gain. You are getting older which is happening around the same time as the menopause years. It could be the aging factor that is contributing to the weight gain. You are not as active. You may not be eating as healthy. As people age their resting metabolism drops. This is because of reduced muscle mass.

Fear of gaining weight in menopause is something that really needs to be addressed. Keep in mind that when you start menopause that you want to focus on staying active. Your menopause symptoms may be restricting you from doing this. You need to become innovative. You may need to plan when it will be easier for you to become more active. For example, if your hot flashes are more problematic in the morning, then step up your physical activities in the afternoon. Concentrate on really eating healthy. You may want to take some courses for this and turn it into a hobby.

You can take some workable steps to combat potential weight gain, it will reduce the fear.

Fear of Mental Issues

One of the most disturbing fears about menopause is the fear of mental issues. Some women fear that they are going to lose their mental capacity. They believe that they will no longer be themselves. Part of this relates back to history. When a woman was dealing with mental disease, it would sometimes be said it was caused by menopause. This was because it happened that she was in her menopause years.

Menopause does not cause mental disease. It can cause depression and anxiety. Both of these are treatable. Most often when the woman realizes this is a symptom of menopause, she can deal with either of these better.

To adjust and cope with menopause it may mean making some positive lifestyle changes. The symptoms themselves can be causing the depression. Becoming pro-active in dealing with them is a positive step. Anxiety can be reduced in the same way.

Difference between fear and anxiety

Three words that are easily interchangeable which are fear, worry, and anxiety. They are considered one and the same. However, there are subtle differences between them. They can appear at any time including during menopause.

• Fear is often referred to as a reaction to a perceived immediate threat. No matter whether the threat is real or not.
• Anxiety is the way we respond to a potential possibility.
• Worry is when one remains in a state when one feels uneasy, or dwells on something they are fearful about.

When this concept is applied to menopause, fear may be best described as the way one reacts during menopause. Where anxiety may be what women experience prior to menopause starting.

Summary:

What it all comes down is that fear can be debilitating. Being in a fearful state will make you miserable. You are robbing yourself of what life has to offer now. Those that become fearful during menopause are causing undue stress on themselves. This can make coping with the menopause symptoms far worse.

If you are dealing with any of the fears here about menopause or any other ones…

•  Take control of them
• Face your fears by really identifying them
• Educate yourself about the issues you are fearful of
• Be pro-active in finding resources that can help you deal with it

Don’t focus on all the negative aspects of menopause. Look at this time of life as being one that you can really enjoy. This may also be the time when you have less financial worries. You may not have the same responsibilities as the kids are basically grown up. There are a lot of positives that come within the time frame of the menopause years.