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Managing Life During Menopause

Many women dread the thought of menopause long before they are ready to start this new transition in their lives. This is partly because of many of the old wives tales that used to circulate around about it. Managing life during menopause begins by being informed about it as much as possible. This means being prepared for it and knowing what to expect.

What Part of a Woman’s Life Does Menopause Affect?

The number of symptoms and how intense they are determines how dramatically menopause will affect a woman’s life. The following is a short list of where this change of life can affect any woman….

• It can affect her relationship with her spouse
• Menopause can interfere with a woman’s relationship with her children
• This transition in life can affect the woman in her place of work
• It can play a role in her social life
• It can affect her decision making

A good plan to deal with menopause has to be implemented so these effects can be dealt with.

Educating Yourself About the Symptoms

It is not the transition itself that creates the interference in a woman’s life, but the symptoms that menopause creates. Knowing what the symptoms are and how they can create a negative effect on a woman allows you to be prepared for it. You can determine what steps need to be taken first. You will want to deal with the intensity of each symptom.  Then follow through with what you can do to lessen the impact that it is having on different areas of your life. There are lots of ways to educate yourself about menopause. You can use resources such as the internet and your health care provider, for example.

While there are many different symptoms, let’s deal with some of the major ones and how they can be managed. This will help you cope with these and minimize their impact on your lifestyle.

Hot Flashes and Night Sweats

Hot flashes and night sweats are basically the same. Some women deal with hot flashes throughout the day and night. Then others may only be getting night sweats. No matter whether you are experiencing both, they can affect you throughout your daily routine. These can be something that you will have to deal with through perimenopause, menopause, and postmenopause.

The signs of a Hot Flash

All of a sudden you begin to feel warm and this can be restricted to your face, neck and chest areas. You may begin to sweat just in these areas or over your entire body. There may be other visual signs such as reddening of the skin in these areas.

Some women have reported anxiety and palpations during a hot flash. These can occur due to stress from not realizing its menopause causing the hot flash.

How Do Hot Flashes Affect Your Life Style?

Some women take hot flashes in their stride. They recognize what they are and simply wait for them to pass. Other women find it annoying and embarrassing.  If they are severe then a lot of women begin to stress about going out in public or socializing. This is because of the fear of having to deal with hot flashes during that time. Women who tend to perspire a lot during a hot flash are embarrassed that their attire may become visibly marked with the perspiration.

What Can You Do About Hot Flashes?

There are some that find that hot flashes are extremely distressing for them. They will ask their health care providers about hormone replacement therapy. Others will find more natural approaches for dealing with the hot flashes.

Some Natural Approaches

There are many different types of natural approaches that have been recommended for helping to reduce the frequency and the intensity of hot flashes. Some work better than others. This is mostly because each woman is an individual and what they are experiencing is unique to them.

Clothing

If you find that you perspire a lot when having a hot flash try to buy clothing that is lightweight and sweat resistant. This will help you to stay cooler during these episodes. This type of clothing will be able to deal with the perspiration more easily, causing you less concern.

Natural Herbs and Spices

Many naturopaths will recommend a variety of herbs and spices to help reduce the effects of the hot flashes. This is more prominent in Eastern medicine.

Identify the Triggers

Pay close attention to when you are having your hot flashes, and see if there is any pattern to them. See if there is something that triggers them. You may find that you seem to get them more often in the afternoon, for example. If there is a pattern like this then you can be innovative in planning your daily events. Important events can be avoided as much as possible during these times. You may find that spicy food seems to trigger them. If you determine any of these things are causing your hot flashes, then you can avoid them.

Deep Breathing

It is not uncommon for hot flashes to raise your anxiety level each time you experience one. As soon as you feel one coming on try practicing some deep breathing. This will help you to relax and may help lessen the impact of the episode.

How Do Night Sweats Affect Your Lifestyle?

While night sweats are basically the same as hot flashes, they occur during your sleeping hours. You may tend to wake up soaked in sweat. This means your sleep has been broken. If you are experiencing these several times a night then this interrupted sleep is going to affect you during the day. You may begin to experience additional symptoms such as….

• Being lethargic
• Irritable
• Not able to think clearly
• More prone to sickness because your immune system is being weakened because of lack of sleep
• Not able to function properly at work

What Can You Do About Night Sweats?

There are a few things you can do to help lessen the intensity of your night sweats.

1. Make sure that you keep the bedroom at a cooler temperature.
2. Use lightweight bedding instead of heavy sheets made from flannel.
3. You may want to try putting a fan close enough to you so you are getting cool air circulating on your upper body. Make sure that it is a low noise fan.
4. Avoid hot beverages or exercising before bed.

By taking these extra steps concerning your hot flashes and night sweats, it will help to lessen the impact that they are having on your lifestyle.

The Physical Symptoms of Menopause and its Effect on Your LifeStyle

While hot flashes can create some physical symptoms, menopause also causes some significant changes in your body that are more visible. This makes it hard for you to deal with them.

Weight Gain and Bloating

There is some controversy over whether menopause is the direct cause of weight gain.  Aside from this is bloating. As it is commonly stated, it’s the change in hormones during menopause that is the cause of all the symptoms that are experienced.

With bloating, it’s the fluctuation in estrogen and its role in water retention, which can lead to this problem. Another role that estrogen plays is with its influence on bile production. Bile helps with digestion, so when foods such as fat are not getting properly digested it can create some bloating.

How Does Weight Gain and Bloating Affect a Woman’s Lifestyle?

Almost every woman that has to deal with these issues whether caused by menopause or not, will all have the common complaint that it adversely affects their appearance. Bloating can fluctuate day by day and this causes increased frustration. A prime example is if you have a special outfit you want to wear tomorrow. When you happen to go to put it on you see your abdomen is distended from bloat. This can be really evident with some types of outfits that you really wanted to wear.

Bloat Discomfort

While the distended abdomen is a visual sign, the discomfort that bloat can cause can also be seen. This is when you are physically displaying the uncomfortable feeling that cramping can cause. Nobody wants to draw attention to themselves when they are feeling discomfort, but this can be difficult to hide if it is severe.

What Can You Do About Weight Gain and Bloat?

When it comes to your weight it is important that you adopt good eating habits. This includes the right portions and choices. In addition to this, exercise has to be included which could also help with the bloat.

To handle menopausal bloating, you have some options such as…

• Making changes in your daily life
• Seeking out treatments provided by your medical professional
• Natural remedies

For changes in daily life as mentioned, a healthy diet and exercise is key for weight control but also can help with bloat. Also, refraining from habits such as smoking and excess alcohol is also recommended by some experts.

Medically provided treatments mean having your health care provider prescribe specific drugs that can directly target the bloating.

Many tend to want to turn to natural alternatives rather than to be exposed to some of the potential chemicals in prescriptive drugs. In this case, it means that you will want to resort to herbs, or phytoestrogenic supplements may be used.

In some cases, a combination of these approaches may provide the most benefits.

Your Hair

For a woman, her hair plays a very important role in her appearance. Hair problems are common at any age. One of the potential problems that can come with menopause is hair thinning.

How Do Menopause Hair Problems Affect Your Lifestyle?

Hair thinning is a big concern. Not all women will experience this problem, but it is estimated that approximately 40% will. If you begin to experience this problem no doubt you are going to begin to feel frustrated. This comes from trying to style your hair so the thinning areas are not as noticeable. You may become irritated because you don’t have as many options as to the way you want to style it. Then it puts limitations on you when it comes to perming or coloring your hair. This can be damaging to hair that is thinning, or not in its best condition.

As a result of all of this, your stress begins to build. You may begin to lose your self-esteem because you don’t feel you look your best. The tendency to not want to go out and enjoy life like you are used to could set in.

What Can You Do About Menopause Hair Problems?

It is important that you recognize that your hair is thinning as quickly as possible. Take extra steps to be careful with your hair care. Choose products which are geared more towards fragile hair. Don’t process your hair with perms and colors. Try not to expose it to high heat from your hair dryer or curling iron.

If you are finding that it is becoming a serious problem then you can seek out hair restoration professionals. They may be able to recommend specific products for the treatment of hair thinning.

There are many other physical symptoms of menopause that can have a direct impact on your lifestyle. Pay close attention to each of the symptoms that you are experiencing.  Deal with these on an individual basis. Recognize when they are affecting your lifestyle, then do some research as to how you can reduce their impact.

How the Mental Symptoms of Menopause Can Affect Your Lifestyle

The hormonal changes that are taking place in menopause that are causing the physical symptoms can certainly affect your lifestyle. Plus, there can be additional mental issues created by the physical effects of menopause. These will require more attention.

The common Mental Changes

Common mental changes are mood changes, anxiety, depression, and loss of concentration. It is easy to see how each of these on their own can affect your lifestyle.

These mental changes could have an effect on what is known as your personality or characteristics. Most likely you will recognize this, but so will other people. This is where there will probably be a greater impact on your lifestyle. You may find that because you are irritable, anxious or depressed, that many of your friends are now beginning to avoid you. This sort of action just compounds some of the negative feelings that you may be experiencing.

Your loss of concentration can have a big impact on your decision making responsibilities both at home and in the workplace. This can have a lasting effect and one that impacts the entire family. Or, if it is the work setting it could affect your performance at work.

The mental changes you are going through could cause you to make changes in your life that would not be considered normal for you. For example, if you have always been a person that enjoys socializing this may change because of your mental status.

You may have been a person that always listened to someone else’s problems, and have been someone that could be counted on. Now that you are consumed with your own mental issues you no longer have the physical or mental energy to take on this role.

What Can You Do About Menopause Mental Symptoms?

One of the most important steps to take is to realize that you are not dealing with a mental disease. Your body is going through a transition, and your mind needs time to adjust to this.

If your anxiety or depression is severe you can talk to your health care provider about this. They may prescribe medication to help you with this.

Other measures that you can take is to recognize the symptoms. Then you can take two important steps. One is to help prevent them, and the second is to deal with them during the time you are experiencing them. Here are some examples…

Irritation

If you are getting irritated easily try to identify what the triggers are. Maybe you find that in the morning you are having to rush to get ready for work, and this is new for you. It could be that you are dealing with some menopause sleep problems that are affecting your mornings. To help prevent this morning issue, really focus on what you can do for the sleep problems. Look at what is slowing you down in the morning. Taking some simple steps like preparing what you can for breakfast the night before. Laying out your work clothes can save a bit of time. This can really help with the time issues that are frustrating you.

Anxiety

Anxiety can be as a result of stress. This means taking extra steps to determine what your stressors are, then trying to reduce these. The next step is to develop methods for dealing with the anxiety at the time you are feeling it. Learning Yoga is excellent for dealing with anxiety. With the Yoga teachings, you should find ways that you can deal with anxiety both before and during episodes of it.

A Positive Approach to Your Change of Life Lifestyle

What has been covered here are just how some of the common symptoms of menopause can affect your lifestyle, and what you can do about it. There are many other symptoms, but approaching them each in a positive manner will help you to adjust your lifestyle with positive steps.

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Health and Wellness After 40: Your Guide to a Happier, Healthier Mid-Life

When we, as women, cross that all-important threshold and enter our forties, it can feel like we’ve stumbled across some invisible barrier between our newly aging bodies and the youthful ones we’ve come to know and love. In terms of health and wellness, we must consider more than just the physical repercussions of age such as pre- and perimenopausal hormonal differences, changes in our appearance, our bones, and the way we process and store fat. There are many psychological changes that take place, and even more differences in how we need to take care of ourselves – body and mind – to live the happiest, healthiest, most fulfilling lives we can.

For many generations, women faced these complex and sometimes-embarrassing changes alone without knowing there were resources available to help them balance the health and wellness equation after forty. But with the rise in technology and the wide-spread availability of information in our age, we can come together from all over the globe. We can share our collective research, expertise, and experiences and lift one another up in a tumultuous, but glorious, time.

Changing Bodies, Changing Minds

We here at Menopause Health are committed to providing you with the most comprehensive information available to help you cope with the changes you are going through. We have found that many health guides for middle aged women miss a crucial part of the overall health and wellness equation: mental health. Mental health is just as important to living a fulfilling and happy life as physical condition, and it is part of the landscape affected by age and changing hormone levels. The other half of that landscape is physical changes, and there are many bodily differences between youth and middle-age.

To prepare for and address the many changes that accompany this time in your life, you need to know what you’re dealing with and why it happens. We are here to help you learn just that. In this section, you will find explanations of several physical and mental symptoms of aging and perimenopause and how they can affect your day to day life.

Physical: Sleep Loss

Changes in circadian rhythm and sleep patterns are common as we age. Hot flashes and night sweats brought on by hormonal changes can make you uncomfortable, waking you up. Illnesses like arthritis, RLS, and sleep apnea can appear or become worse with age, and all of these can interrupt your healthy sleep patterns and contribute to insomnia. Stress from life changes, clinical depression, or anxiety can also have a detrimental effect on your sleep.

You may notice that you begin to have trouble falling asleep at the same time you usually would, or that you wake up earlier in the morning. You may also have trouble sleeping through the night, or you may not sleep as deeply as you did when you were younger, leaving you feeling tired throughout the day.

Though sleep changes are a normal part of the aging process, their effects can be very harmful. Try to remedy insomnia by staying active throughout the day, practicing relaxation and stress relief techniques, and treating any illnesses you may have with medications that will not further interfere with your schedule.

Mental: Mood Swings

Mood swings are often blamed solely on the hormonal changes that come along with menopause and the onset of its symptoms in the perimenopausal period. However, the nature of mood swings is more complex. Usually, the frequent changes in mood that are attributed to menopause are simply the product of other factors, such as the changing sleep patterns mentioned above. Hormonal imbalances, life changes, and other stressors can also affect your mood and irritability levels.

Clinical depression and anxiety can develop as you get closer and closer to natural menopause, but the irritability and brief spells of sadness or joy that we associate with mood swings are not the same as these more serious illnesses. To fight these unpredictable and often inconvenient fluctuations, watch your diet and be sure to get enough exercise. This will help regulate your sleep schedule as well as give you a boost in feel-good chemicals in the brain.

Physical: Skin Changes

One of the first signs of aging that we notice is the loss of tone and volume in our skin. We also see creases, lines, and wrinkles forming in areas where the skin gets scrunched together (particularly the corners of the eyes, nasolabial area, forehead, and hands). These changes are the result of a natural breakdown of the elastin and collagen structures that support the surface of our skin, and the equally natural decrease in collagen and elastin production to repair these structures. This affects the breasts as well, leading to sagging or drooping breasts, especially for large-busted women.

The skin also tends to become frailer, and more prone to losing moisture, leading to a dry and dehydrated surface that is easily damaged. Exposure to the sun can cause many issues, such as hyperpigmentation (age/liver/sun spots), and it also compounds the wrinkling, detonation, and dehydration problems listed above. To care for your skin and slow the visible signs of aging, stay hydrated, use sunblock, and follow a beauty routine religiously. For breast health, you can use a firming cream and regular massage to help maintain a full, perky appearance, and you need to keep up with both breast exams and regular mammograms to monitor for cancerous changes.

Mental: Sexual Changes

There are four psychological components to sexual activity that are affected by the fluctuating hormone levels that follow the forty-year mark. First is self-image, which is often negatively impacted by the physical changes in appearance that go along with aging. The second is gender role behavior, which tends to see women taking more interest in pastimes and leisure, as well as a refocus on their career, over sex.

Third is sexual desire, or libido, and the fourth is sexual response (pleasure, orgasms). These are the two most affected by the natural decrease in both testosterone and estrogen. Women have a harder time reaching a climax, and they are less inclined to try. The best way to solve this particular problem is to engage in exercises to increase sexual response, such as yoga and Kegels, and to communicate with your partner.

Physical: Slowed Metabolism

The body’s ability to burn fat for energy decreases throughout our lifetime, along with the amount of fuel we need to keep it going. This leads to several issues that have other long-term health and wellness consequences, including weight gain, higher cholesterol, and impaired self-esteem, which can lead to depression.

To combat this problem, make sure you are getting enough weight-bearing, aerobic exercise. This type of exercise triggers the burning of fat, and it keeps your muscles toned and strong. Diet is also a key component in fighting a sluggish metabolism. Make your calories count by eating antioxidant and vitamin-rich foods in smaller portions.

Mental: Depression and Anxiety

Depression and anxiety can be brought on by the enormous emotional, physical, and lifestyle changes that accompany this period in our lives. Poor body image caused by physical signs of aging can lead to negative self-worth. The resulting depression can sap your energy, keeping you from staying active. This leads to more health and body image issues, which then deepen the depression. It becomes a vicious cycle.

Anxiety can cause panic attacks and make the smallest tasks seem entirely overwhelming, and it can sometimes be brought on by the stressful changes in your life. Anything from a change in your career trajectory to caring for aging parents to grieving can trigger anxiety in middle age.

Both of these conditions are serious, and you should talk to your doctor if your mood swings are sticking more on the dark side than the bright.

Physical: Vision and Hearing Impairment

As the lenses in our eyes become less flexible, women in our forties often see a decline in our vision. This is especially true for reading, but night vision and clarity may also be affected. Likewise, changes in the ear structure affect the way we process sound, and which frequencies we can hear clearly. These issues are easily treated with corrective lenses (including reading glasses) and with hearing aids (when necessary).

Mental: Memory, Focus, and Concentration Loss

As we age, the amount of blood flow to the brain, along with its neural network and overall weight begins to decrease. This causes a decline in our ability to focus, to concentrate, and to recall recent events, names, or faces.

There are a number of mental exercises to keep your mind as sharp and strong as ever. These include learning new things, social activity, and problem solving games that focus on recall. Another way to fight the loss of mental sharpness is to exercise your body – more blood pumping means more blood flow. More blood flow means more oxygen to the brain.

Physical: Bone Density Loss

Bone loss is not unique to women. Adulthood brings mineral loss to all people, and it accelerates after forty. The mineral content of the bones decreases over time, and the bones become less dense as a result. These changes in density make the bones more brittle and prone to breaks.

To fight osteoporosis, eat a diet rich in calcium and vitamin D. This doesn’t just mean dairy. There are lots of veggies that are rich sources of these nutrients as well. To help keep your bones strong, you should also regularly participate in weight-bearing exercise, such as weight training or walking, and avoid substances that increase calcium loss, such as nicotine.

Mother Nature or Father Time: The Duality of Aging Symptoms in Women

As we’ve mentioned, there are more factors at play in the changes that accompany middle age than just hormones. Many of these symptoms are simply a product of the aging process, such as sleep changes, the resulting mood swings, and skin and tissue changes. However, many issues do arise from the fluctuating hormone levels seen in perimenopause, when the first signs of menopause become apparent. These signs include unpredictable and irregular menstrual cycles, hot flashes and night sweats.

Whatever the cause of each individual symptom, a whole-body approach to treating them is the best way to take care of everything at once. Since the underlying causes of seemingly unrelated symptoms can often be treated with the same lifestyle change, it’s important to have a dynamic plan of action when considering your self-care. Below, we have some segmented routines that you may find beneficial for any issues you are facing, but they work best in tandem.

What Next: Solutions for Health and Wellness

 

Skin Care Solutions: Look Good, Feel Good

The first visible signs of aging often show up on the skin. Wrinkles, creases, fine lines and flakes, they all can be headed off with a quality skin care routine. Include weekly exfoliation to slough off dead cells, a twice-daily cleanse, and lots of good moisturizing products to help strengthen and hydrate your skin.

Be sure to eat well, rest enough, drink plenty of water, and use a high-quality sunblock to augment your routine and further boost your mood. Reversing the visible signs of aging may seem like a trivial thing, but feeling good about the way you look can be a powerful mood-booster.

Stay Limber and Lithe: Flexibility and Strength Training

Flexibility and strength are important even if your hobby list doesn’t include gymnastics or body building. Weight-bearing exercise strengthens not just your muscles, but also your bones, a crucial benefit as mineral and density loss increase with age. You don’t have to strain yourself trying to bench press 200lbs in order to reap the rewards; light strength training, such as bicep curls with a light dumbbell or sit-ups with a weighted ball are plenty.

Yoga has many benefits, including aiding in relaxation and stress relief. The flexibility gained by practicing yoga decreases your risk of injury both when exercising and during your day-to-day activities, and the practice of yoga has been shown to counteract some of the sexual changes that come with middle age, such as a drop in libido.

Brain Games: Memory and Focus

Mental exercise is just as important as its physical counterpart to thriving in a happy and fulfilling life. To stave off stagnation in your memory, focus, and logic, be sure to put your brain to work with a regular routine of puzzles, riddles, and challenging problems. Read often, and learn new things.

By training your brain the way you train your body, you can fight the effects of aging on the mind. Physical exercise is also beneficial to your mental agility. But be sure to eat well and get plenty of sleep, too. Fatigue makes your memory worse, your reactions slow, and shatters your focus.

Heart Healthy: Adequate Exercise

Getting your blood pumping is paramount to health at any age, but after forty it becomes even more important. In addition to staving off the stubborn belly fat that forms around this time, working out strengthens your bones, heart, and lungs, improves your mood, and keeps your brain as sharp as a tack.

The core advice for any issue brought about by aging boils down to two things: exercise and eat well. The condition of our body affects so many other areas of our lives that staying active may be the most important thing you can do to keep yourself well.

Stress Saver: Managing the Mid-Life Mayhem

Whether your stress management routine consists of therapy and medications or yoga and exercise (or something in between), it’s crucial that you find a way to cope with the stressful changes taking place in your life in a constructive, healthy way. Stress increases sleep problems, worsens illnesses, contributes to mental health concerns like depression and anxiety, and causes you to pack on pounds.

Regulate your sleep schedule to make sure you’re getting enough rest, because sleep deprivation can cause stress levels to skyrocket. Exercise and eat healthily, and practice quiet, relaxing pastimes like yoga to decompress after a hard day. If your stressors are too strong for at-home approaches, see your doctor about medications that may help you.

 

You Are What You Eat: Dietary Changes

Diet is at the top of the all-important lifestyle changes list for dealing with, preparing for, or preventing the symptoms we all associate with aging. From weight gain to bone loss, wrinkles to bad moods, it all comes down to taking care of yourself, and the first step is giving your body the fuel it needs to thrive.

A diet well stocked with whole grains fills you up so you can manage the smaller portions required by a slower metabolism, and lean proteins build strong, healthy muscles. Fruits and veggies are chock-full of vitamins and minerals you need to thrive, and many provide extra benefits with powerful antioxidants. If you’re watching what you eat and you still aren’t seeing the results you want, ask your doctor to find out if you need a supplement to balance everything out.

Whole Body Health and Wellness

Whole body health and wellness after forty takes a concentrated effort, but it’s so very worth it in the long run. As you tackle new problems and cope with the changes that surround this special time, remember that this could be the prime of your life! Live every moment to its fullest and take good care of yourself so you have time to enjoy these wonder years. Check back frequently for more helpful tips, tricks, and information about Menopause Health, including how our menopause management solutions could be just what you’re looking for!

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Symptoms and Signs that You May Be Going through Perimenopause

We’ve heard of menopause, but perimenopause? What is that? For that matter, what exactly is menopause?

Menopause can be marked by a specific day in time, but perimenopause is not a once in a lifetime event. Instead, it is a process that occurs over the course of several years, typically during our 40s. If asked about menopause on the street, most people would likely say, “oh that’s when you have all of those hot flashes and your periods stop.” Yes, that’s partly true, but…

The menopausal experience is a continuum. Perimenopause (“peri” = around, so “around” menopause) is the time of our lives, leading up to the last period, and for a year thereafter. Menopause has occurred once we have been without a period for a full year, regardless of how regular or irregular our periods were before that. During the years following menopause, and for the rest of our lives, we are considered to be postmenopausal.

What is happening during this time? What does it all mean? It’s largely about our ovaries. Throughout the continuum of peri/menopause, our ovaries are gradually reducing the amount of estrogen they are producing. Let’s travel back in time a bit to our Biology 101 classes…for it is worthwhile understanding the basic physiology of this process.

Basic Biology

Hormones are like messengers, carrying information from one part of the body to another. There is a complex interaction of hormones along what is called the hypothalamic-pituitary-ovarian axis, which regulates the processes of reproduction. Having a basic understanding of these processes can enhance our understanding of what is happening during the perimenopausal, menopausal and postmenopausal time periods.

Hypothalamus

The hypothalamus (a small gland in the brain, located near the brain stem) makes several hormones, one of which is gonadotropin releasing hormone (GnRH). At the beginning of the menstrual cycle (defined as the first day of a period) GnRH carries a message from the hypothalamus to the pituitary gland (another small gland in the brain, which is situated just below the hypothalamus). This message tells the pituitary gland to stimulate the release of other hormones. Two pituitary hormones, follicle stimulating hormone (FSH) and lutenizing hormone (LH) carry messages from the pituitary gland to the ovaries, as part of the female reproductive hormonal cycle.

Follicle Stimulating Hormone

Follicle stimulating hormone carries one message to the ovaries – to stimulate the development of an egg follicle in the ovary. Lutenizing hormone carries another message to the ovaries – to release an egg from the ovary, also called ovulation. This hormonal process leading up to ovulation occurs over an average of 14 days (a shorter period of time for those with a shorter menstrual cycle, a longer period of time for others with a longer menstrual cycle). FSH and LH also stimulate the release of a number of hormones from the ovary, one of which, estradiol, is a form of estrogen. Inhibin is another reproductive hormone produced in the ovary and released due to the influence of FSH and LH.

Ovulation

Ovulation occurs during the mid-cycle phase of menstruation. During ovulation, an egg is released from the ovaries and is available for fertilization. Once one egg (rarely two or more) is released, there is no need to release another egg, as we as humans most typically have only one baby at a time. To prevent the release of another egg, high levels of estrogen and inhibin, as well as increasing levels of progesterone being made by the ovarian follicle, send messages back to the hypothalamus and pituitary. These messages signal the hypothalamus and pituitary gland to reduce the production of GnRH, LH and FSH, so as to stop stimulation of the ovaries and prevent the release of another egg. If after several days pregnancy does not occur, the levels of estrogen, inhibin and progesterone fall. New messages are sent back to the hypothalamus to increase the production of gonadotropin releasing hormone, from which point the cycle repeats itself.

Repeating Cycle

The cycle repeats itself until one of two things happens. Either a pregnancy occurs (if the available egg is fertilized by sperm) or perimenopause begins. Perimenopause may begin seven to ten years before menopause happens. During that time, the ovaries are making less and less estrogen. That hormonal messaging system that relied on a certain pattern of estrogen production from the ovaries? The messaging system which may have worked like clockwork before? It becomes glitchy. The hormonal messages may or may not be sent, such that sometimes ovulation happens, and sometimes it doesn’t.

Menstrual Changes

A menstrual period occurs only if ovulation has happened and the egg released during that cycle was not fertilized. If ovulation does not occur, a period will not follow. One of the hallmark signs of perimenopause is a change in menstrual cycles. Periods that previously came every 28 days or so may start a few days earlier (surprise!) or a few days later. For most women in perimenopause, menstrual cycles will get shorter, so periods come earlier and more frequently. Periods might be lighter than usual, though most commonly they become heavier as menopause nears.

In our 40’s, changes in menstrual cycle length or even skipped periods are common and most likely the result of perimenopausal hormonal changes. Irregular bleeding could however, be a symptom of other conditions. Pregnancy, infection, and benign growths or masses such as fibroids, polyps or simple ovarian cysts can cause irregular bleeding. Irregular bleeding can also be a symptom of serious medical conditions such as ovarian, uterine or cervical cancers. Irregular bleeding is most concerning when it happens between periods and when it happens after sex. It is also potentially dangerous if it is so heavy or painful that it causes fatigue, missed work or an inability to tend to personal and professional responsibilities. These types of bleeding warrant evaluation by a health care provider.

While peri/menopause is primarily considered a reproductive life event – the end of our ability to reproduce in the usual fashion – there is so much more happening. Estrogen’s effects reach far and wide, not only to our reproductive organs and reproductive experiences. Perimenopausal changes can also affect, among others things, how we regulate body temperature, the elasticity of our skin and ups and downs in mood. How well we think, how well we sleep and our interest in and enjoyment of sex can also be influenced by hormonal changes happening during perimenopause.

Is It Hot in Here or Is It Just Me?

Temperature regulation, like reproduction, is, in part, governed by the hypothalamus. The cause of vasomotor symptoms (experiences like hot flashes, hot flushes and night sweats) is not entirely understood. However, it stands to reason that reproductive hormonal changes affecting the functioning of the hypothalamus will consequently influence other functions of the hypothalamus, like temperature regulation.

Most of us are surprised to start having hot flashes, hot flushes and/or night sweats even years before our periods stop (and surprised when they continue long past menopause itself). When a hot flash or hot flush starts, there is an initial increase in body temperature. Like when exercising or being in a warm environment, the body’s temperature will then increase.

• A rise in body temperature will increase blood flow to skin so that heat will dissipate.
• During a hot flash, our faces and chests become flushed due to this increased blood flow, we feel hot, and we sweat.
• Our heart rates increase.
• Then, just as suddenly as it started, it stops, and we may even feel chilly.

Some of us experience hot flashes, some of us don’t. For some of us, hot flashes may be severe and happen several times a day. For others of us, they may be mild and happen once or twice a week.

Am I Mad or Am I Menopausal? Perimenopausal That Is…

The unpredictability of hot flashes rivals the emotional lability that many of us experience during perimenopause. Remember the hormonal roller coaster ride of adolescence? The ups and downs of mood, the irritability? Perimenopause, with its fluctuating hormones, can be like the adolescence of middle age, only this time around we are more experienced and have easier access to reliable information and resources.

Is It Estrogen or Is It Everything Else?

Perimenopause usually coincides with a dynamic period in a woman’s life, entirely unrelated to hormonal changes. It is a time that many women are concurrently raising young children or coping with the trials of adolescent children. It is not uncommon also to be supporting aging parents, financially and otherwise. In our 40s and 50s we are typically at the peak earning potential of our careers. Yet, there is financial strain from multiple financial obligations and responsibilities, such as paying for college for our kids as we try to save enough to be comfortable during retirement. Even though we may want it all, we may not necessarily have chosen to have it this way – all at once.

These stressors can cause both psychological and physical symptoms that overlap with some of the symptoms of perimenopause. High levels of stress can cause menstrual irregularities and headaches. Stress can cause some people to experience problems falling asleep. We rest in bed having difficulty quieting the chatter in our heads – the chatter about how to prioritize the obligations of children, parents, partners and work. Some of us awaken during the night, only to be kept awake by those same internal conversations. Poor sleep hygiene affects cognitive function, making concentration difficult Not getting enough sleep will adversely affect memory problems, attention span and reaction time.

I Don’t Feel Sexy When I’m Sleep Deprived

Changes in our thoughts and feelings towards sex may change during perimenopause. The estrogen in our bodies helps keep blood flowing to the genitals, which helps the vagina stay lubricated and the tissue of the vagina and vulva maintain its elasticity. Perimenopause, a lower estrogen state, can cause vaginal dryness, vulvar irritation and soreness that may limit our enjoyment of sex. On one hand, maintaining an active sex life can prevent these physical changes from happening. On the other hand, if stress or circumstances are getting in the way of sex, it can be challenging to maintain an active sex life.

Pears to Apples

An overall, gradual weight gain is a normal part of aging – one we can’t blame on hormones. But the change in fat distribution? That is due to menopause. Women typically carry most of their fat tissue in their hips, bottom and thighs. This has often been referred to as having a “pear” shaped body. A pear-shaped body is associated with better overall health than an “apple” shaped body, which is more common in men, who more typically carry most of their weight in their stomachs. The changes of perimenopause redistribute this weight, and distribute most weight gain, from the hips, bottom and thighs to the stomach.

Hormones and Hair (and Skin)

Hair and skin changes may happen compliments of the hormonal changes during perimenopause.

Anyone who has been pregnant knows that hormones can affect hair growth. Remember the thick, luxurious hair that grew during pregnancy? The hair that then fell out in small clumps in the shower in the weeks and even months postpartum? Hormones. When rouge hairs suddenly appear on your chin, seemingly out of nowhere, or the hair on the top of your head starts thinning? Hormones. Again.

Estrogen has an important role in the maintenance of healthy and younger looking skin. As estrogen level fall, skin may become dryer, less taut, more wrinkly and heal more slowly.

Making a Diagnosis

Research is underway using hormonal testing to approximate when perimenopause and menopause will happen. For now, there is no predicting when perimenopause will start or how long it will last. Perimenopause is more of an assumption based on age, menstrual cycle changes and other symptoms.

During perimenopause there are very real changes that are happening in our bodies as indicators of approaching menopause. The perimenopausal experience will be different for each of us. Some of us with have no symptoms at all, until one day, periods will stop, never to be seen again. Others will experience hot flashes several times a day that will continue even after menopause. Some women will have less and less desire for sexual activity, whereas other women, having more privacy because children have grown up and are no longer in the house, experience a resurgence in sexual desire and activity.

The signs and symptoms of perimenopause are not specific to perimenopause. Some of the same symptoms may be related to thyroid dysfunction, diabetes or other medical conditions. Any symptom that is disruptive to personal, family or professional life, or negatively impacts relationships, needs evaluation by a health care provider. Even if it is determined that the symptoms are attributable to perimenopause, there are ways to attenuate the symptoms so as to improve quality of life.

Yet, it is not all doom and gloom. We have a lot to look forward to. Most of us will live over one-third of our lives as postmenopausal women. In many respects, we have choices as to how we will live during those years. Right now, our bodies are saying, “look, pay attention, there are changes ahead.”

I encourage every woman to approach perimenopause as a time not only of physical change, but also as a time of potential life transformation. Consider this a good time to pause and think carefully about what you want those years to look like. What are your values? Are you living your values? Are you living your most authentic life? What do you want your quality of life to be and how can you optimize your ability to maintain that? Consider this an opportunity to make the most of the rest of your life.

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Working Women in Careers and Handling Menopause

Women in the Corporate world have come a long way when it comes to building equality in the workplace. However, there is no doubt that women in the work arena face extra challenges. One of these is having to deal with menopause, which can span over several years and it does have an impact on them while trying to function in the work environment.
Although most women are very aware that they are going to have to deal with menopause, they only have a basic idea of what is going to take place during these years. This means that they are not prepared for the type of challenges that menopause is going to create for them during these years where they are still in the workforce.
One of the best ways to be able to deal with this is by having a better understanding of what takes place during this time and how it could potentially affect any woman no matter what type of career she is involved in.

The Pressures of A Career Combined With The Pressures Of Menopause

If you as a woman are in a career then you are well aware of what type of pressure you are under. Just the fact that you are a woman in the working world is a challenge in itself. In most cases, women have to work harder and often longer hours just to be able to move up the corporate ladder.

It doesn’t matter whether you have entered into menopause or this time of your life is about to arrive soon, getting ready for it can really help you deal with this transition of your life a lot easier.

Preparing for Menopause in the Work Place

Start by identifying the common pressures that you are under in your workplace, such as…..

• Your job demands a great deal of energy on a daily basis
• You are in the position of being a problem solver
• Your work is time sensitive and you constantly have to meet deadlines
• You are required to travel a great deal
• You are a spokesperson and are constantly in the public eye, even if it’s just within your workplace

These are just a few of the common types of pressures which are workplace responsibilities that you may have to deal with. Take a moment to compile your own list. This will act as a guideline for you to be able to apply some of the following suggestions to help you deal with menopause in your workplace.

Those First Subtle Signs of Menopause

As a woman that is involved in a career, most likely you could class your lifestyle as a hectic one. Not only do you have your workplace responsibilities, but you also have a private life. It may be that you have a husband and children. Or, you may be single, but, still have a busy social life. In either case, it is really easy to miss those first subtle signs of menopause.

This can begin to cause some confusion as to why you are experiencing some changes in your body. These changes are slight but you are still becoming aware of them and perhaps pushing them to the back of your mind, simply because you are too busy to deal with them.

These changes can begin to show as early as the mid-thirties, however, between the ages of  45 to 55 is considered to be average.

Changes in Menstrual Cycle

If you have been one of those fortunate women who have up until now had a fairly normal menstrual cycle then you are quickly going to notice any changes. Up until now, you have been able to determine almost the exact date that you are going to get it, and how many days it will last.

Now all of a sudden you are finding each month that you may be a few days late. You also notice that it is changing in duration and perhaps intensity. In fact, there may even be the occasional month where you have missed it all together.

While you are aware of this you may very well just write it off as the cause being because you are under stress. However, you are still able to conceive during this time, so you do need to be sure that you are not pregnant. If there is no other significant cause for the now irregular menstrual cycle most likely you are just entering into menopause.

Hot Flashes

This is something you have most likely heard about in regards to other women going through menopause. In the early stages you may be experiencing them, but as yet are not aware that this is what you are experiencing.

All of a sudden you may feel a little flushed and your first inclination is that you are coming down with a flu bug. Or, you may be in a room where everyone else seems to be comfortable, but you find it uncomfortably warm. This only lasts for a short period of time. However, keep track of this as you will most likely find that this is beginning to happen on more than one occasion.

Something that you should also be aware of is that it has recently been discovered that there are different types of hot flashes.

Mood Changes

Mood changes during the start of menopause can be quite subtle and you may not even realize it at first that you are showing some mood changes. It may start out where someone says something and you become irritated very quickly, however, you don’t say anything and your negative thoughts pass rather quickly. Then you begin to find what used to be your daily normal routine is now beginning to agitate you. Yet, for years you have followed this routine with no issues.

Sleep Changes

This particular early menopause sign is one that commonly occurs, but all types of excuses are found for the cause. You may find that you are having difficulty falling to sleep. Or, you are beginning to wake up at different intervals throughout the night. Then in the morning you just don’t seem to feel rested.

The most common excuses for this happening are its just because you are stressed. Or, you are eating too late at night. Then maybe the room is too light. If you haven’t made any significant changes in your daily lifestyle that would apply to these excuses then most likely it is as a result of early menopause.

What is Happening to Your Body?

Accepting the fact that you are going through menopause you know that it means you are coming to end of your childbearing years. This eventually means you will no longer have a menstrual cycle. But what is actually taking place in your body?

There are different stages of menopauses. During each of these stages, your body is going through some significant changes. These changes are the symptoms that come with menopause and they are as a result of changes that are taking place in the hormones that are associated with the female reproductive system.

What Hormones are Being Affected?

The two main hormones are estrogen and progesterone.

Estrogen:

Estrogen is mostly made by the ovaries. Its job is to help with the development of the female body and to keep the reproductive system working properly.

Progesterone:

This hormone has the job of preparing the uterus in the case of fertilization and is needed to support a pregnancy.

Once the reproductive system is no longer needed in your life then these hormone’s begin to fluctuate and eventually decrease in their production.

The Different Stages of Menopause

Most often women that finally recognize that they are in their menopause years have already come through its early stages. In general, it is estimated that menopause in its totality ranges from 2 to 8 years. Different medical experts have their own opinions as to how many stages to menopause that there really are, but most will accept the following….

Start of Menopause

This is sometimes called perimenopause. It is during this phase that the hormone levels are beginning to fluctuate and start to decrease.

Mid Menopause

During this phase, most women are experiencing the most impact from whatever menopausal symptoms that they have been dealing with. The hormone levels are not fluctuating as much but they have declined significantly.

Ending Menopause

In the medical industry, it is assumed that if a woman has gone twelve consecutive months without a menstrual cycle that she has completed menopause. It can still take some time before the menopause symptoms have totally disappeared.

What Symptoms Are Affecting You In the Work Place?

You are most likely aware of the majority of symptoms that come with menopause either because they are so common and you have heard others talk about them, or you are experiencing them. During this time of your life, it is really important that you listen to what your body is telling you.

If you are experiencing something different either physically or mentally it could be as a result of menopause because there are a wide range of symptoms, and every woman is different. At the same time, you should not just assume that what you are experiencing is as a result of menopause. Share your concerns with your health care provider.

It would help to make a list of the symptoms you are experiencing. Then go through the list and check off those that could be affecting you in your workplace. By doing this it will help you determine what extra steps you can take to help you cope with them if they are occurring during your workday.

How Can You Handle These Symptoms During Your Workday?

Once you have identified those symptoms that are interfering with you at work there may be some ways that you can reduce the impact from them. Here are a few examples…..

Hot flashes

These range in their severity. Some woman will just begin to feel extremely warm and mostly in the chest, neck and face area. If you are experiencing this then wherever you are in your workplace try and get yourself situated under the cool air vents. For example, if you are going to a board meeting then quickly glance around the room as to which seat would be closest to the cool air ducts. Also, make sure you dress in layers. This way you can take off your sweater or jacket if you are going through a hot flash.

If flushing is an issue during your hot flashes, make sure you are wearing good foundation makeup as this helps to camouflage the redness that briefly occurs during a hot flash.

Mood swings

This is a tough one to deal with especially if it’s out of character for you. This is often the one that is most noticeable with your co-workers. Learn to identify when a mood swing may be coming on. This way you are prepared to handle it. It gives you the opportunity to excuse yourself if you are dealing with someone that is agitating you. Often this will pass after a short period of time and you can return to the conversation quickly.

If mood swings are occurring outside of a conversation for example, where simple tasks are irritating you, then try to remove yourself from that particular task for a short period of time and come back to it later. It may mean that you have to put some flexibility into your work schedule.

Tiredness

If sleep irregularity is one of your menopause symptoms, you may have to study your sleep patterns closely and see if there is anything you can do to help enhance your sleep. Some women find that going to bed earlier and getting up earlier helps. Others find that when they begin to feel sleepy during the day that just getting up and moving about in the office helps.

Could Menopause Be Having an Impact On Your Work Progress?

With mood swings being one of the most common symptoms of menopause it could be spilling over into your work productivity. This can lead to frustration. You may be agitated because you can’t seem to focus as intently as you once did, or get as much work done during the day. Many times the frustration comes because you don’t fully understand what changes your body is going through. What this means is that you may have to make some changes within your work environment to help compensate for these changes that are taking place. By looking at this in a positive way you will accept it more as a challenge rather than a hindrance. Once you do this it will be much easier for you to deal with.

How To Deal With Your Work Colleagues That May Be Affected by Your Menopausal Years

If you are in a position of authority in your workplace how you conduct yourself is going to affect your co-workers. If they have noted changes taking place in you as a result of your menopause they may share their concerns with you. You have to decide how much you want to share with them. In any event, you need to recognize what they are complaining about and then try and implement some of the steps we have outlined here to help you get a handle on them.

Again, look at this as positive feedback and not as a form of judgment. With your knowing that their concerns are as a result of your having to deal with menopause you will not feel inferior in your work ethics, or that you are no longer fit for your position.

How Do The Menopause issues at Work Carry Over to Your Home Life?

It is easy for anyone to tell you that what happens at work stays at work. Most of us know this is not usually possible. When you are trying to cope with issues that are taking place at work because of menopause it can make it even more difficult.

The whole key to making the transitions through menopause is to totally understand that this is a natural process that your body is going through.

• You are not failing at your job
• Nothing scary is happening to your body
• You are not dealing with any type of mental breakdown
• You are not changing from the person you have always been

These are all thoughts that may be running through your mind, and the time you think about them most is when you arrive home after a day at work. You begin to ponder over all the negative issues that may have taken place in the workplace each day.

There is nothing wrong with thinking these through. In fact, it is a good practice because you are dealing with negative aspects instead of trying to bury them. The important factor is that you recognize the cause and that you can do lots about it now that you are aware of it. You will most likely find that with this type of approach to menopause that you make this process much easier to handle.

It is also important that you have the right type of support at home. You may find our article “Men’s Mini Course for Understanding Menopause” to be a helpful resource for your spouse.

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Men’s Mini Course for Understanding Menopause

This Men’s Course for Understanding Menopause is meant to assist any man that is in a relationship with a woman and wants to be able to assist her through the different stages of menopause which can be a trying time for her. Not only can it be difficult for the woman, but it can take its toll on the relationship, but it doesn’t have to be that way.

Throughout any relationship between a man and a woman, they experience many journeys together. Some of these are positive and others which are negative. They have their ups and downs along with their agreements and disagreements.

Over the years of a relationship, each person goes through different transitions that can affect the relationship and really put it through many tests. Menopause for the woman is a transition in her life where changes are taking place in her body and she needs support while dealing with this.

What You Are Going to Learn In this Mini Course for Understanding Menopause

This mini-course is meant to arm you with the knowledge about menopause so that you and your partner can enter this stage of her life together. You should be able to go through its transitions without it having a negative impact on your relationship. You will learn about…..

• Why you as a man need to have this knowledge so you know what is happening.
• You will be given an overview as to what menopause is and what is physically taking place in your partner’s body.
• There is a section that fully explains what your partner is feeling both physically and mentally while these changes are taking place.
• When finished with this mini course you will have a greater insight as to how your partner is reacting to the changes she is experiencing.
• Your partner’s time of menopause is going to affect you and the information here will help you to recognize how this is affecting you.
• You will need to develop some coping skills and there is a section here to help you with that.
• Learning to deal with the effects of menopause separately is important, but just as important is learning how to work through it together, and this outline will help you learn how to do this.

These are the objectives of this course with the main goal being to create an understanding in you that menopause is a natural part of life and it is not something that you have to fear in regards to it being detrimental to your relationship.

In fact, with the new knowledge that you will have gained from here, you should be able to go through menopause with your spouse in a much more positive manner than you would have before learning about this.

PART ONE

Why Men Need to Understand Menopause

Most men do realize that their spouse will at some point in time have to deal with menopause. A lot of guys don’t have much more understanding beyond that. Some are aware that it does cause changes in mood.

It is not uncommon to hear a male joke when their partner is in a bad mood that it’s just because they are going through menopause. This comment is made in general and most of the men making it don’t have any idea as to whether this is actually true. This type of joke has become a common one because one of the main symptoms of menopause for the woman can be mood swings.

It is really important to understand what menopause is in order for the man to be able to fully support his wife. When becoming knowledgeable in this segment of a woman’s life it will allow the man to recognize the signs and symptoms of it. A lot of women don’t recognize when they are first starting into menopause, but they do know they are experiencing some changes and they often will not talk about this.

The importance of men having an understanding of what menopause is has been recognized in the health industry to the point where there are being some studies done as to the importance of men understanding menopause.

What is Menopause?

Menopause is not a disease or a condition. It is a transition that a woman’s body goes through which brings the end to her reproductive years.

Two important components of a woman’s reproductive system are comprised of her uterus and two ovaries. The eggs needed for reproductive are stored in the ovaries.

Productive Years

Prior to menopause, approx. every month or so a woman’s body goes through what is called a follicular phase. This is where her body is preparing for a pregnancy. The uterus lining begins to thicken for this event. The ovary prepares to release an egg and if that egg becomes fertilized with a male sperm it can attach to the uterus lining and a pregnancy has begun.

If no fertilization with a male sperm occurs then there is no implantation of the egg and the thickened lining now turns to blood which is ejected from the body which is the menstrual period. This cycle then begins all over again.

Menopause Years

Beginning around the late 30’s for the average woman the egg production begins to slow down and some hormone changes begin to take place. Subtle menopause symptoms may begin and the menstrual cycles may not be as long.

Between the late 30’s to early 50’s

The menstrual cycles become sporadic to where they eventually stop all together. This process can take anywhere from two to eight years.

 

PART TWO

What Do Women Experience When Going Through Menopause?

The woman’s reproductive system is governed by hormones. The two main hormones are estrogen and progesterone. During the course of menopause, these hormones rise and fall. When this is happening it is creating many of the menopause symptoms that some women have to deal with. Not every woman will experience every symptom, and the ones they do have will vary in intensity.

Menopause symptoms include…

• Hot flashes
• Vaginal dryness and/or thinning or inflammation
• Discomfort during intercourse
• Lack of interest in sex
• Increased need to urinate or not being able to hold urine
• Urinary tract infections
• Sleep disturbances
• Changes in skin and hair
• Mood swings
• Depression

 

How Do They React?

With such a long list of potential symptoms to have to deal with it is understandable why the menopause years can be rough for some women. It is also easy to see how any of these symptoms could have an impact on a relationship.

Just as every woman experiences a variety of these symptoms in varying intensities they also each react to them in their own way.

There are some women who are able to recognize these symptoms quickly and know they are part of menopause. For those that don’t, they often become frightened about them. When they are experiencing the physical symptoms they may be fearful that something is physically wrong with them. Then they become agitated and frustrated because some of the symptoms are hindering their lifestyle. They may not be open to discussing these experiences with you as their partner, because they don’t understand them either.

For some women, they don’t have any significant experience with the physical symptoms but are being subjected to those that are having a mental effect. For example, they find they can’t sleep well at night. Or, they just aren’t interested in a sexual relationship with you anymore. Then they may find themselves becoming sad or irritated and they cannot find justification for this.

When these types of mental symptoms begin to occur many women begin to question themselves as to why it is happening? They may start to wonder if they are not happy in their relationship with you anymore but they don’t know why this would be the case. This is emotionally exhausting for your partner. For you no doubt you are beginning to recognize some emotional changes in your partner and it is just as unsettling for you.

 

PART THREE

What is the Negative Impact on Men?

Whether you realize it or not you are going to feel some of the impact from the menopause that your partner is going through. Again to what degree will depend on what your spouse is experiencing.

Impaired Sexual Relationship

You may find that your spouse is not as interested in sex. This can be as a result of several of the physical menopausal symptoms that she is experiencing. If she is dealing with vaginal discomfort or urinary tract infections it is understandable why she would not want to have sex with you.

Then from the emotional standpoint, she may be dealing with a decline in libido as a result of the fluctuation in her hormones. In addition to this, if she is dealing with mood swings and depression then she is not in a good mental state for a sexual relationship.

All of these symptoms are going to have an impact on you. From your standpoint, your partner is still the same as she has always been. You still have that same desire to be sexually active with her, yet she is rejecting you. This has a big emotional impact on you.

Decreased Socialization

You may find that your partner is no longer interested in going out to social events with you. This can be very difficult on your relationship particularly if in the past you have been used to socializing and enjoying the company of others with your partner.

If she is experiencing hot flashes these are very distressing and embarrassing for her. She may not want to have to deal with this in a public setting. Also, she may be dealing with changes in her skin and hair so she doesn’t feel as attractive anymore, and doesn’t want to be seen in public as much. Then again there is also the mood swings which includes sadness and she just doesn’t feel like being in a crowd of happy people.

For you, this is very difficult. You may end up having to make excuses as to why you are not attending social functions. Or, it may end up where you have to attend them alone. This puts you in an uncomfortable situation where you now feel that you have to make excuses for your partner. Again, another strain on your relationship.

How Can You Cope?

All too often the challenges that menopause brings to the men in a loving relationship go unnoticed. Many times men are accused of being insensitive to their partner’s needs during this time. It is not uncommon for relationships to come to an end during the menopause years, simply because the negative aspect of this transition in the woman’s life has placed a heavy burden on the partnership.

You will be able to cope much better now that you have a better understanding of what is happening to your partner.

Without this knowledge, you may have taken the side effects of the menopause personally. Meaning, that when your partner didn’t want to have sex with you that you were thinking it was because of you.  You may be trying to think of something you may have done or the fear that she no longer found you sexually appealing. This creates feelings of rejection. Now that you know it is not you as the cause, you can be more understanding and compassionate about the situation.

Frustration is another emotion that you may have to deal with. Not understanding why your partner no longer wants to socialize may lead you to think that you are no longer compatible with each other. Yet up until now, you had no idea as to why. Knowing that there are valid reasons as to why your partner does not want to socialize will help to reduce the frustration and you won’t have to deal with this as much.

PART FOUR

How Can You and Your Spouse Work Through Menopause Together?

One of the most successful ways of being able to get through menopause as a couple is to work through it jointly. Two to eight years of having to deal with this may seem like a long time. However, with you both focusing on a proper it can be a life’s transition that has a minimal negative impact, and in fact, can even strengthen your relationship.

Communication

Communication about the situation is going to be your best tool for working through menopause. You as the male may have to be the one that takes the lead in the beginning. Remember, your spouse is going through some emotional challenges. You need to encourage her to talk about what she is feeling both physically and mentally. Although you have no control over her physical symptoms just having someone that she can talk to about them is going to give her real support.

Patience

Patience is going to be something else that you need to practice. Your spouse will be dealing with mood swings and some of which will cause her to become agitated or irritated easily. During these episodes, you may have to just bite your tongue if she is being unreasonable. During these times look for ways that you can diffuse the situation. It may mean just suggesting you go for a walk or do something that you enjoy together.

Recognition

It is going to take extra effort on your part to make sure that you verbally express recognition and appreciation for your spouse. During this time she may be dealing with a lot of mixed emotions. Just the fact that she can no longer have children could be having a negative impact on her.

Recognize the fact that she is noticing changes in her appearance. Here is where some extra compliments will really go a long way in boosting her morale and make her feel good about herself.

Education

It could very well be that you are now more educated concerning menopause than what your spouse is. If you suspect this to be the case then encourage her to seek out her own studies about menopause. If she has a better understanding of what is happening with her body she will be able to deal with it much easier.

Change of Lifestyle

It may be that you will need to change your lifestyle in some small ways to help accommodate this transition. If socializing is an issue because of the menopause symptoms, then alternatives may need to be considered. Instead of going out in public with friends and family you may have to arrange for more outings that include just the two of you. This way she still gets a break from her normal routine without the pressure of having to deal and explain some of her physical menopause symptoms to others.

Understand Each Other’s Needs

Make sure you plan for both of you to have your own space. Take some time where you can be away from each other to give yourselves a break, and the opportunity to deal with any of the stress that may be present.

Hopefully, this small mini-course will help you go through the menopause transition with your partner in a much more productive and rewarding way.